Putting the “FUN” In Funeral

Funerals are a balanced, mournful celebration. You want to be happy that someone is no longer suffering, but fuck man. Life is so final. Someone I love told me that once.

Part of that balance is the food. We’re still humans, right? We need to eat. And we’re sad, so don’t we deserve a break? I mean c’mon. Someone died.

It feels like a wedding, in some weird ways. It’s a wedding where everybody leaves you alone. Which would be the best wedding ever. If someone there wasn’t dead.

The post-ceremony lunch is always a big part of the funeral. It’s why many people end up coming. Funny how people who have problems end up forgiving each other when you tell them the lunch is at an Italian spot. Yes, we got lasagna.

People want to offer comfort, and food is a great way to do that. I haven’t eaten this good in years. Yet, I am struggling with emotions that I cannot even bear to describe in words. But chocolate chip cookies homemade at a fifth generation New Jersey family farm is to die for. Too soon?

We were reading over the menu the night before, and it gets you excited like it’s a normal event. You review that menu like, “oooh, wow – buffet style! Oh – we miss grandma.”

The funeral had me thinking a lot about legacy. What type of legacy am I leaving behind?

I then realized; it doesn’t matter. Because every funeral I’ve ever been to, nobody is talking about anything specific. Your legacy isn’t up to you; your legacy is whatever is most convenient in the moment.

I’ve been to so many college graduations, where every family is like “GRANDPA IS LOOKING DOWN SMILING!!!! : ))))))))))))))))))))))))))”

Then all of a sudden two guys start kissing and everyone is like, “Thank god grandpa isn’t here to see this!”

And its like hey, wait a minute. You just said he was looking down. WHICH IS IT CAN HE SEE US OR NOT?

I never know how to greet people at the funeral. Like, what am I supposed to say? You look good? That’s weird, right? Hey, looking like shit! What do I do with my hands? Seriously.

Funerals are weddings, but without that taste of hope. I mean, its literally the opposite. It really couldn’t be less hopeful. Like someone special to me said: life is final.

Funerals are such a mix of emotions and I aways wondered how it affected others. I feel sad isolated, and hopeless, but also inspired.

Talking about death is odd. Everyone really has their own idea of what happens after. Some people think it just stops. Back to black like before. I guess that would make sense. But I hope that isn’t it.

I believe in other worlds. I believe in the spirit of a human and I believe that world, like other worlds, co-exist within ours. Many accounts have people mentioning their past loved ones or children before they pass. Technically, I’ve read science says DMT is released in our brain. It may cause those changes. I believe that those scientific changes result in our brain intercepting those other frequencies. The parts of this universe that coexist with us but are invisible to us.

Anyway; funerals are funny too because of the million dollar question: HOW!?

Everybody wants to ask it, nobody wants to ask it first. You cant ask it first. I mean, you’re a good person. You’re here to support that person through a loss. Not for a good story and the lasagna. Yes, we got lasagna.

Usually there’s only one group allowed to ask those hot button questions – the grandparents. That’s one of the most important jobs of grandparents. To find out how. And when they pass, the next generation fills in the shoes. This is why all Italian mothers are crazy. It just moves faster there. What can I say, Italians love the drama.

Been a weird week. That’s all for now, folks. Be safe, life is weird, but it’s beautiful. If you are reading this, thank you, because not many people are reading it. So, that’s pretty cool. Why not share it with someone else. May go a long way! Who knows. Either way, I’m thankful for you, the reader.